February 5, 2007

Slap Training My Latest Read

I think it's time to start posting my training stats to make myself accountable, so:
Sunday - 1750 y swim:500wu, 5x200,10x25, 6m run (50min)

I'm feeling stronger each day with the swim, and I'm ready to start pushing the volume up. It was pointed out to me recently that my IM is only 4 months away, and that I need to be swimming 5000 yards or so straight (holy sh*t!) prior to the race. So it's time to get grooving!

Moving on...

I'm foolhardy. I admit it. Guilty as charged. Find me a judge and a jury, let me cop a plea, and give me the punishment I deserve. Or maybe I'm just a fool.

You see, sometimes I don't think before I act. OK, I'm supposed to be honest here, so let me restate the last sentence. You see, usually I don't think before I act. I'd rather leap then look, follow my passion then clean up my messes. It frequently is not the most logical thing to do, but it usually is my modus operandi.

And yea, sometimes it gets me in a lot of trouble and gets some people hurt.

Now I'm not talking about physical harm to anyone except occasionally me (the leap occasionally is followed by a resounding thud), and I'm not talking about my professional me in this post. My professional me and my non-professional me are 2 way different persons that I tend to keep separated for the safety of everyone involved. My professional me is definitely a thinker by necessity.

Complicating the problem is that I'm not savvy enough to always realize the meanings of what someone says, nor even the meanings and ramifications of what I say. You know how some people can think with such clarity that it seems like everything they say is perfect? Well, that's not me.

So sometimes I write and say things, things which sometimes might appear in this forum in the context of posts or comments, which are poorly conceived or have meanings or interpretations that I don't recognize. It's a problem for me, and it's a recurring problem for me no matter the context in which I am writing or speaking.

I speak before I think thoroughly about what I am saying.

I was reminded of this problem by a particularly stunning slap in the face via phone from a friend who was hurt by something I said. It was an ill-conceived comment and it didn't represent my thoughts in a way consistent with my actions and feelings. The details of the comment are absolutely unimportant to anyone but me and said friend, but the slap definitely reminded me of this problem.

So, add this to my list of ways that I ef things up. Heh, funny how that list seems to get longer the older I get. Isn't it supposed to be the opposite? Maybe I just know myself deeper and recognize my faults easier (especially when recognition is forced by things like a slap in the face, even if it is a phone slap)... Yea, I like that answer...

I just finished reading Life and Times of Michael K by J.M. Coetzee. It's a shortish novel set in 197o's civil war South Africa. The story chronicles Michael K, a slightly disfigured fatherless guy institutionalized as a child with other physically or mentally challenged kids. When he reaches manhood, he wanders the countryside, through warzones and abandoned farms, while he tries to avoid contact with essentially all of society. He is malnourished but only wants to eat what he grows for himself. He repeatedly is captured and interred in labor camps, but always escapes to wander back into the nowhere.

The book is interesting on several levels. It is yet another example of how you only are truly free when you have and want nothing. Michael is offered shelter, and food, but he shuns almost all assistance ("Why are you so interested in helping me?" he asks) so that he can live as he chooses. Michael is not dumb, but he is by no means sophisticated. In the end, he wanders back to the town where his mother first tried to raise him to drink his water from the earth one teaspoon at a time.

Not a life-changing read, but an entertaining one definitely.

Thanks for joining me on My Daily Spin.


Triteacher said...

Nice extraction from foot-in-mouth. I'd accept the implicit apology if it were me... The book sounds good too; I love historical fiction. I'll check it out.

Oh, and get swimming! :) (See, if you put smiley faces after your comments, that's another way of not pissing people off.)

momo said...

i seem to have the opposite problem. i will post or comment, and then i sit there for what seems like forever before i hit publish, wondering if my message will be received the way i intended.

personally, i think you speak and write from your heart. your posts are introspective, your comments (and i can only speak from my experience) are thoughtful and helpful, and you are not afraid to share will all of us both the joy and the heartache in your life. you aren't afraid to say what you're feeling, trijack, and that is both a blessing and a curse. it is a good friend that will call you and tell you that you've hurt them, but i would much rather see you post what you truly think and feel than have you censor your every word. remember, this is YOUR daily spin.

and just for the record, i think the smileys help, too. hugs. :-)

stronger said...

Perceptions. They tend to differ. You are vague enough, yet open enough, that we seem to get a sense of what’s going on. Don’t hurt yourself by holding back. Stay centered with who you are- remembering that you won’t change- and those who appreciate that about you will eagerly join you for your daily spin.

Bike Chick said...

Good luck with the swim. You'll get there!

I wonder if you leaping like that is you're way of making sure you experience life without holding back? Because of your job and what you must see. One could get cautious and think things thru til the opportunity is gone or one could dive right in and get all messy. You're just trying to find a balance between the two.

ironjenny said...

We love your introspectiveness! I know I often see some of my own self in the posts and trials of you and the others. It connects us all. None of us is perfect; I hope your friend accepts your apology.
Your heart is always in the right place.
BTW - nice workout summary. I'll forgive you if you kick my butt in the swim in Zurich.

TriJack said...

IJ, notice i didn't post the swim times, just the volume... heh, there IS a reason!

Di aka "Mrs Bigun" said...

You said "I speak before I think thoroughly about what I am saying."
Welcome to the human race my friend. People who live in the moment often insert foot in mouth. I've found myself pulling a shoe from my mouth more than once. Don't sweat it, friends get it and won't hold it against you. Heart felt apologies should always be accepted.